Monday, July 4, 2011


That is the sound of Fireworks. I do this cheer often with my Kindergartners. We say "Boom"(clap hands) "Ch" (shoot hands up in the air) "Aw" (separate hands and wiggle fingers down to your sides) My kids love it, or maybe just me, but we do it a lot. 

I'm annoyed. I just wrote an awesome (at least I thought) blog about my weekend, but my computer shut down before I saved it....shit. 

I guess for lack of losing to much sleep, I want to reflect on one of my great experiences this weekend. After spending so much time in the sun with friends and family....I'll choose just one to share with you all. ( I know there are thousands of you.... :)

Last night, Josh and I went to the Burlington fireworks. We left the boys at Mama Heald's and decided to have a date night. Sort of. We met my brother and his friends down on the waterfront and waited for the fireworks. I know that my brother hates that I blog, he says it's dumb and I'm a loser..maybe, but..I like it. In case you decide to read, Ry- thanks for a fun night!

P.S. I just saw that you play Pawn Stars, the game of FB......"Hello Kettle, it's me....pot" Loser. :) Joking....again, sort of. 

So...fireworks. Some people say "once you've seen one, you've seen them all" I disagree, I think every show is beautiful and different. Kind of like reality TV. (Side not- Bachelorette tonight was a re-run and Big Brother starts Thursday)I've seen fireworks before, forty-sixty-eight times. This year it was much different than what I've experienced before. Now, let me set the's a beauty. Josh went into breakwaters for a refreshing O'Douls....I know. I wanted to go in, but I didn't have any shoes on. Fail. So I headed back to where I had left my shoes. I decided that it was a much better place for me to watch the fireworks, better than being sardined (new word) in a bar with sweaty drunk people.  I used to be one of them, not this year. I got back on the boat with a crowd of people including an old friend of mine and his little guy and made myself comfy.

In the past at every firework show I've ever seen, I've been engaged by the brightly colored, smoke filled sky. This year was little different. Maybe I was looking for my shoes, or maybe my neck hurt, I'm not sure. Anyway, this time I was not looking at the sky like usual. I was watching a 6 year old enjoy the show. I could tell he had been looking forward to it all day. I tried not to stare and I'm pretty sure his family thought I was weird standing there by myself, but I couldn't help it. His reaction to the sky's wonder was magical. He was cuddled in his Dad's arms and with every Boom, Ch, Aw....he would smile or widen his eyes or blurt out something funny. It was one of those moments that you want to wrap up and put in a box to take out when you're having a bad day. 

 I realized then, that fireworks....are not just fireworks. They are little bursts of emotion for everyone, young and old. I looked around at everyone's reactions, it seemed  that many people were having a moment of emotional pondering. I think it's because the laughter and celebration of the day turn into a quiet, dark, night sky and you know the special day is coming to a close. Some people's emotions were obvious, I could see the people that were in love, the people who were not, the people who were thinking about different aspects of life, as well as of course, the people who were drunk. I wonder which one I was....I'm pretty sure it was in love-with the little boy I was watching. Josh was a mile away with his O'Douls....still, although I do love him too. It was fine. This realization of the connections of fireworks and emotion was unexpected. 

I too, had a moment of emotional thought. I'm not going to elaborate, I do keep some things personal. I'm actually pretty good at it. Really. 

They were the best fireworks I've ever seen. To see them through the eyes of a child. Even better than the fireworks at my wedding. I mean the ones at the reception, not after. I slept with a bridesmaid, really. She was leaving to go home to TN and I was so sad. Josh understood....I think. :) 

I can't wait to watch fireworks with my own boys....when they are older of course. 

Boom! Ch! Aw!

Happy Independence Day 2011

~ A little firecracker 

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Things I love....

My new found love for blogging has lead me to read many other blogs.I even find myself reading blogs of people I've never met. It's kind of like facebook, where someone changes their relationship status to "in a relationship with some hot guy" and you have to click on some hot guy to see if you can look at the pictures to judge what their all about...etc, etc.  Oh come on, you know you do it too.....right? Uh oh.....nevermind. Anyway, I have stumbled across multiple people devoting a whole daily blog session to "my favorite things" at first I thought, "Eh, they just don't have anything exciting to write about". Now, I sit here with nothing exciting to write about, although, I could give you my take on the show "I didn't know I was pregnant" which is currently having a marathon....give me a break. Oh wait..."it's twins. Full term, Congratulations."" "I didn't know I was pregnant....I had no signs, except for missed periods, weight gain, cravings, swelling, etc." Please...


Things I

Edy's Coconut Fruit Bars. They really taste like a Pina (I always want to say penis) Colada minus the booze. Real 12o calories, delish! You have to try them, really!

I ran in to K Mart (whoa...that might be a whole other blog) today before I met Josh for lunch to get some ant traps and picked up a couple of these big soft frisbees for the boys. We played with them for over an hour in the rain, so fun! I can't wait to bring them to the beach soon!

I might go back and get this shirt tomorrow... we'll see :)

I did pick up this cute dress for $20 at the mall. It's fun and flirty...I can't wait to wear it around town. Look out.....ha.

I guess that's it for now....until next time I can't think of anything to write about. Today's favorite things. 

P.S. I realize that I used ... so much in this one blog. I hope that Ashley Hebert (The Bachelorette) doesn't read my blog. She'll never get over me. (Hollar, Bachelorette fans)


Monday, June 20, 2011

Summer Daze

Today was one of those days where I love Vermont. It was sunny, warm-not hot, and just plain beautiful. I spent the morning in the classroom sorting through paperwork, packing up our "toys and tools"  and re-arranging furniture. I worked for a solid couple of hours and then decided to enjoy the outdoors, at home. Unusual for me. I have a hard time staying home, I'm always on the go- I like it that way too. I picked up the boys and we filled up our swimming pool for the first time this year. It always amazes me how much fun kids have with water- I swear a hose is the best present a kid could get.  Sawyer and Shamus did their chores tonight. Shamus mowed the lawn, Sawyer helped me water the flowers, and  we all made dinner. Here are some snapshots of my little cuties :) 

After 3 full days of fishing, Josh joined us at home for the evening. It was nice to have him home although he is so exhausted. He is pretending like he's going to stay up and watch The Bachelorette with me, but I'm sure he'll be snoring as soon as they role out the first rose...

Sunday, June 19, 2011

If it were easy, everyone would do it.

Yes, I am talking about parenting.

I love running into people that I haven't seen in a while and they ask "how is it being a Mom?" or "isn't it great?" I always frantically try to break out a smile, or gaze into my boys' eyes with a loving stare,but secretly I'm flaring my nostrils, widening my eyes, and clenching my fists. Truth be known, it's hard work. The hardest job anyone could ever take on. I did it unknowingly. I wish someone had told me just how hard it is, or that I actually listened when they did. Again, sorry Mom. There are wonderful moments, honestly, but most of the time it's stressful, frustrating, and difficult. I guess maybe that means I'm not a "natural". Well, I think "naturals" are either closet drinkers, or have nannies to go home to. No one can do it without some of the same feelings I have.

Now,  if you've read my blog before, or you know me already, then you know that I have two boys ages 2 and 4. It's busy. Always. It wasn't always this hard, and some days it does seem to feel like it's getting easier. 

I remember when Sawyer was first born. As a new mom, I remember thinking "okay Caitlin, you can do this, all you have to do is keep the little creature (yes, I said creature- let's be honest, they are weird looking when they are that little) alive. Feed it, make sure it goes to the bathroom, and keep it breathing". Just like a puppy right? I never knew that I wouldn't sleep for three months staring at Sawyer in the wee hours of the night as he lay there sound asleep, just to make sure he's breathing. I never knew that I would put my hand out to feel his belly rise, or spend a ridiculous amount of money on a monitor that would sound off a  siren waking everyone up if he stopped moving. That thing worked. Not, but it was the cause of a few heart attacks and stubbed toes at 2 AM. That stress is enough to send anyone into a depression, and it did, pretty severely, actually. Don't worry, I got through it. I thought it would be all cute onesies and smiles. I was wrong.

Almost two years later, Shamus came along. He was supposed to be a girl. Dr. Gallagher's exact words "no outdoor plumbing". I felt relieved, and when the delivering doctor propped him into my arms and no one said a thing I remember saying, "oh shit". Then came "well, what's his name". I looked at Josh, but didn't have enough energy left to pick his jaw up off of the floor, so I called out "Shamus". I don't even know where that came from, it wasn't on the list...then again the list was written in pink. Now, I don't want you to think I was disappointed, cause I'm not. He is my buddy, and anyone that knows him, can attest to the fact that he is probably the coolest, most fun, two year old around. Back to my point. I gave myself the same "keep it alive" speech the first two days, then I never put my hand out, never used a monitor, just let him be. It was easier. He's fine. 

Looking back, I'm glad I made it through those days. I don't want to go back. We all sleep (mostly) now.  I like this stage better. I've traded in my nursing bras, for referee costumes....boys. You trade in one battle for another- for example, right now I'm stressed about the pool at my in-laws. Mom's you know what I mean. The struggles continue daily, yet I get through with a smile on my face. Sometimes I cry at night, tears of laughter over something they said or did, tears of frustration-dwelling on how to solve the problems (Sawyer peed his pants...again..ugh), or tears of just plain old exhaustion. 

My sweet little guys....

I love my kids to death. They are the reason I am here, I'm sure. But parenting-it's just not easy, if it were, everyone would do it.

Hi- it's a short simple word.

I disliked a lot of things about living in the South. It was hot, brutal at times. There's a reason they call it the "dirty south". It's filthy. People smoke butts, everywhere. I did too, I realize. That was college. Tourists can be annoying. The worst was the morning (probably afternoon) that I woke up to big dude I didn't know in my apartment. (The scary kind, not the good kind, although there were a few of those also. Sorry Josh.) I'm sure there's more to hate on, but why elaborate?

There are a lot of things that I loved about the South as well. The beaches, the parties, the shopping, and most importantly, the people. I wish I could pick up some of the people I met or encountered in the dirty and pepper them throughout Vermont.

When I moved to South Carolina, one of the first things I noticed was that no matter where I went, people would greet me with a genuinely friendly smile, and usually a "haay". Not the gay kind, the southern twang kind, personally, I love both. :) At first I kind of jerked my head around every time I heard it, wondering "how do I know you?" Then I realized that was just how people were. Friendly, hospitable, warm. I learned to love it, and I learned to be that way in my own life. Now, I'm bringing it to Vermont. I'm sure I'm not the first.

My new found awareness of how warm and inviting people could be made me realize that Vermont is funny. Cold. Now if you are a Vermonter reading this blog, don't get pissed, stay with me. I'm hoping I can make you aware, and make Vermont a little better for us all.I realize that not all Vermonters are cold, duh, but some just aren't aware yet. 

I immediately noticed the change in interactions when I moved home. I'd go to the store, do all of my shopping, get gas, drop off mail, and return home without ever even saying "hi" or flashing my million dollar smile to anyone. Slap. (It's a Tennessee thing) I may have even talked on my cell phone (I'm sure it was a Zach Morris model)  while checking out. Yuck.

I hated that. I changed that. I've learned that a simple "hi" or even a brief smile can go a long way. I do it all the time. Everywhere. To people young, old, homeless, grumpy, happy, scary looking, etc. It makes me feel great. Happy. I get compliments on it all the time. No really, I've even had people say "you're always in a good mood" or "what are you so happy about?". I assure you, I'm not always happy, mostly I am, but not always. Now, I do it out of habit. It's a great one.

I love watching people process the interaction. Now, beware at first some people are going to have that nervous reaction, like "how do I know you"? Some might look away and ignore you. It's new, why wouldn't they? Move on to the next. Others might think you're hitting on them, or better yet their wives will. I assure you, it will be okay, and you will feel great after! 

This "hi" movement is powerful. It's better then any happy pill or bong hit you'll ever take- a better "high". It will make you feel good, I promise. You never know, you might make someone else's day too. Let's warm up Vermont. 

I'd like to give all of you Vermonters a challenge. Starting now, whenever you go somewhere, whether you are in a good mood or not, whether you know the people you encounter or not. Smile and say "hi" -it's a short simple word.

Friday, June 17, 2011

A Blog Is Born

"You need to do something with writing. You're afraid you can't make career of it, don't be."

Those are the words I was told when I visited with Nan O'Brien recently. Nan is a Medium/Intuitive Counselor who is very well known, and in my opinion, pretty darn accurate in most cases. She is a "local celebrity" if there is any such thing among the small towns of Vermont. Her knowledge and spiritual connections are entertained by many people, including myself. I do believe in Nan's "gift" and although I don't think her words changed my life forever, I don't want to upset the spirits, so here I go. A blog is born.

I wanted to ask Nan so much about all the aspects of my life that day. My one big question to Nan was- "I feel like I take on so much, I constantly struggle to find a balance, yet I take on more, will I ever feel fulfilled with what I have going on in my life?" Well, her answer, unfortunately was no. I won't, and if I do less, I won't be happy. She told me I need to be busy, and that high stress makes me function better. Interesting. Bitch. I wish I had asked something like "How's Grampy?" Nah...I know he's fine, he's up there laughing at us for all the times he'd shit himself in the car, or the time he hollered out "oh, bitch" when the woman sitting next to him in the pugh at church accidentally put the knee rester down on his foot. I do hope his hearing has improved since he left us. Once, he called us saying an airplane had landed in his small Shelburne backyard. Dad rushed over there only to find a kind neighbor mowing Grampy's lawn. Just a tractor Gramps. He's up there with Nanny and his buddies from the air force, I'm sure he's doing just fine. There's your blog shout out Harry Dick (yes, I swear that was his real name). 

So...about me and this busy life I lead. My name is Caitlin, I wish it were something cool, but Caitlin is fine for me and 17 other girls I knew growing up. Thanks Mom. I'm not a typical 27 year old woman (I really wanted to say girl there), or maybe I am, I'm not sure. I was born and raised in Vermont and although I spent a couple years living in the South doing the sorority thing, I guess I just like VT, I'm comfortable here. I am married to this cool cat named Josh. He's fun, hardworking, and he loves me. A lot.  I am a Mom to 2 awesome little boys. Sawyer will be 4 in November, and Shamus will be 2 in August. I always wanted to have kids young, but I pictured myself having girls and dressing them up in pink to go shopping for the day. Yeah right. That didn't happen, but I love my boys so much and I wouldn't change it for a thing. Yes, I am just saying that. Just Kidding. There great, really busy, but super fun....and they save me money. I can't buy pink and I really can't go shopping. Ever. I barely make it through the grocery store with them, and I usually have to hand Shamus to the cashier during check out and have her weigh him instead of the fruit I was going to buy. I swear he could eat his way out of a house, and every time we go to the store he is "hungry". He must take after Josh. Ha.

I teach Kindergarten in one of those really small towns in Vermont. I LOVE my job. It's perfect for me....I love the kids, I love to laugh, and I love the hot Dad's that make endless trips to my room each morning. Just kidding.....kind of. No one ever told me about that in college...I must of missed "How to politely tell parents they can leave 1o1- trust me your child is fine...they're with me :) I guess I wouldn't leave either, now that it's in perspective.

I don't really have any hobbies, I just keep myself busy. I like to say I'll try anything. For example, I just started running- I just did my first 5k this spring, I don't know if I could consider running a hobby, yet. I think hobbies are supposed to be things you like...I have to tell myself "you're not dying, you're not in pain" with every step I take when I run ( thanks, Abbie).  I do love to be social, I love to meet new people, and I love to spend time with my friends and family.

Maybe blogging will be my new hobby...